I remember the time I was so sure I would be a millionaire by age 24. The fourteen-year-old me was certain by that age, I’d be married to a doctor. I would have a fun and quality time with my husband for about two years before we decide to have our first baby. By then, I’d be a super-rich momma. I had a very positive attitude to life and I was sure everything would go exactly as planned. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I still have a positive attitude to life (most of the times), it’s just now, I have been hit by the tidal wave of life and reality (several times, I might add).
Over ten years later, I am anything you might guess, but absolutely not a super-rich momma that makes other mothers’ heads turn when I enter the PTA room. I am single and I don’t want to talk about my financial status. No, I mean it. I’m serious; I don’t want to talk about it, so let’s focus.
Anyway, as I was saying — writing, I am not a super-rich momma. As I came of age, I became more aware of this fickle thingy called reality. The first struggle came when it was time to gain admission into university and after that, it was getting good grades. Between those, I dabbled into a relationship or two that I would have been perfectly happy if I’d not dabbled into. (It’s okay though. We live to learn). Moving on from that, it was another hustle to get a good job that gives the job satisfaction that I want. And on the other side, I started hearing the whispers of “you should be preparing to get married”, “when are you getting married?” (As if there is a calendar I can simply check).
In fairy tales- except Frozen-, all the damsel had to do was find a man (or a man finds her) for her problems to be solved. Check in with Cinderella, Snow white, Shrek, Rapunzel etc. Don’t we all wish we can stay in a place and wait for our prince charming to breeze in and save the day? Wake up! I honestly don’t get why they make these animations sometimes (that’s a discussion for another day).
I know most of you can relate to a time when your younger self was so sure everything will go smoothly. We have all been there. One day when you think back to those innocent days and look at yourself now and realize you are so far away from the future you envisioned, I sincerely hope that does not discourage you from the present. It is very easy to get sucked into the wormhole of what ifs (believe me, I know). In those times, take an honest gander of your life and be glad for all the good things in it, no matter how intangible they may seem.
Yes, it’s taking longer to get there, but eventually you will get there. I grew up hearing the phrase, “nothing good comes easy”. I mean, even Ed Sheeran said “the worst things in life come free to us”. Despite all the vices and social structure against you, you made it this far. One step in front of the other; that’s all you need to keep going. It’s going to be very easy and tempting to throw your hands up; to give up and settle, but don’t. Never settle. And not to sound like a motivational speaker, because I’m not, it is going to be okay. You will make it through and one day, all this will be a story to be told. And who knows? Maybe you will still get that fairy tale life after all.
I find that music and praying help me to stay strong when I feel like giving up. Since I can’t start calling prayer points, let me wrap up by dropping a short playlist to get you going.
Destiny Child — Survivor
Aretha Franklin — I Will Survive
Bishop Briggs — White Flag and Champion
G-Eazy ft. Kehlani — Good Life
The Score — Higher
Charlie Puth — Through It All
Dear readers, please add to the playlist in the comment section.
THE DUCHESS